What matters now

reflections on the season and how I'm staying present

Hi friends! Thank you for joining me in this writing space where I share progress on my memoir, stories about family, occasional updates on my Alzheimer’s research, and discuss books I’m reading. If you are new to this newsletter, welcome. And for return readers—thank you! I’m glad you’re here.

It’s our first fall in the new neighborhood and every day is a discovery. Mornings when Hazel and I walk are finally cool and glorious. Leaves crunch under foot and the air smells of woodsmoke and pending rain. The trees are dazzling shades of orange, yellow, and red. Fused with sunlight, the vibrant hues seem more like a painting than real life. I can’t get enough of them. I look up and up and up, and find my calm.

I already miss October. Our season of football games, homecoming dances, and tailgates with friends and family. It was a rush of activity and fun. I enjoyed watching Charlie come alive with his high school team, and can sigh with relief that we survived another sports season without injury. Brain health is somehow always at the fringe of my thoughts. From Charlie and football, to my own aging forgetfulness, and my mom’s dementia. I focus on it every day in my research. Maybe it’s the stage of life I’m in, but I feel more and more grateful for my health and want to preserve it at all costs. It has become my driving force. Brain health, memory, vitality. This is what matters.

If there’s one lasting image I want to hold tight from this fall, it’s that of post-game hugs. From me to the kids, between my husband and me, with cousins and aunts and good friends. And hugs from grandparents, of course. There is nothing better.

Record player update! Ryan and I found a few unique gems in a local record store the other day. Radiohead. LCD Soundsystem. Fleetwood Mac. If you read my last post, you’ll note that I talked about listening to records with Izzy and left out my other child.

I thought Charlie would have zero interest in the whole record player experience. So I was surprised when he called from Target a few days ago and asked if he could buy a record. (Target has records—who knew??) He brought home a double LP by Drake.

I showed him how to put the record on, press start…it is fully automated and easy. He seemed interested. Engaged. Hooray! We listened to the first song and then he asked if we could skip forward to song 5…and then after that to song 7 on the B side. I tried to explain that the whole point of a record is to put it on and listen to it all the way through. No skipping around. No fast forwarding. Be present, I advised. Cue the eye rolls.

And then I showed him how to identify songs by the lines on the vinyl and to place the needle without scratching the record. He skipped ahead and I lost the battle. But Charlie now has a record in our tiny collection to call his own. Baby steps.

Point and shoot: In an effort to speed up our annual family photos (have to get my holiday cards out early with our new address!), I pulled out my real camera. A Canon DSLR that I got when the kids were little. I haven’t used it in years and years. In fact, the kids didn’t remember ever seeing it. They were fascinated and wanted to try it out. I showed them how to use the view finder, how to display a photo on the small screen, how to focus. Do you see a pattern here? We’re going retro kids, all the way.

I’d forgotten how it feels to try to capture a good photo the hard way, without all the filters and tools on my iPhone. It made me want more creative outlets in my life. Start from the beginning, teach me all the things. It is exciting to be a novice and grow by leaps and bounds. I plan to keep the camera within easy reach from now on.

I managed to capture a few smiles. Pretty sure they were laughing at me. But I’ll take it.

Now that it’s November, we’ll be on a fast track through the holiday season. I plan to do everything I can to slow things down and appreciate the big and small moments. If you have suggestions or strategies, send ‘em my way please! For now, I’m watching the leaves fall, listening to vinyl, and capturing images in my mind. Stay active friends, keep those brains healthy.

Thanks for reading Work in Progress!