my (almost) giving up era

Hello friends! If you are new here, welcome to Work in Progress, my newsletter about writing, a life in science, family, and mid-life adventures. I'm a research scientist by day and an aspiring author by early morning light. I have a PhD in Physiology and an undergraduate degree in English Literature. I’ve always felt split by my two loves—science and stories. In this space, I am hoping to marry my two halves into one interesting whole.

The sky was dark, minus a thin stripe of indigo at the horizon. I yawned, shook out my legs and looked up and down the street. There was no traffic and the sidewalks were empty. I wondered for a brief second if it was safe, my mom’s voice in my head. I had to run—my legs were restless from travel, my mind unsettled after a frustrating first day. I needed to move and sweat, run until my thoughts unwound. I tapped the timer on my stopwatch and headed towards Florence’s old city center.

I ran down the middle of the street, a thin shadow cast by streetlamps matching my stride. My path narrowed and I followed the brown and white signs towards the major tourist sites—the central market and the Duomo, the Academia and Uffizi museums. It was hard to keep a steady rhythm with the pavement sloping haphazardly towards the sidewalk, my feet striking against uneven stones with every step. Tall buildings on either side formed a tunnel and I moved faster, checking my watch, trying to gain on a seven-minute mile pace.

The buildings dropped away, and I burst into a wide-open square with a large archway covered in scaffolding. I recognized it as the entrance to Piazza della Repubblica. I passed a tall stone column and craned my neck for a peek at the statue of a woman perched on top. To my left, the curved red dome of the Duomo loomed like a mountain, its massive shape out of proportion with everything in its vicinity. Near it, I felt small and insignificant. I glanced at my stopwatch and hurried on. There was no need to stop. I could come back tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. I had time to discover every little-known piazza and quiet side street of Florence.

I turned left at the Arno River and ran towards the Ponte Vecchio. The entire width of the old bridge was empty, the windows of the micro-jewelry shops closed and shuttered against the dark. I ran to the low wall in the middle of the bridge and peered over the edge, caught my breath while I admired the reflection of lights blinking like orbs on the black water.

Streaks of blue and pink crawled across the morning sky and I felt the rough edges of the stone wall under my palms. I thought for a moment of all the tourists who’d stood in this same spot, posing for photos and taking in the view for the first time. People came to Florence to discover, learn, see the museums, try the gelato. Others came to remember, to forget, to become someone new. This was a place that got under your skin, shifted the way you saw the world. Standing on the Ponte Vecchio on only my second day in the city, I knew this place would work its magic and that I, too, would never be the same.

—Florence Ever After, a memoir

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In a previous post, I wrote that I was in my Rejection Era. And while that is technically still true, my revising has slowed to a crawl and I haven’t been sending out any queries. And since I’ve decided that every stage of this journey is important and should be recognized (possibly celebrated), the phase I’m in now needs a name. The Cripplingly Stuck Era? The Dubious Era? The (Almost) Giving Up Era?

My writing progress is slower than it’s ever been. I had my regular meeting with my writing critique partners last week and for the first time in over two years of us swapping pages, I had nothing to share. Nothing! It felt horrible. I know it’s because the changes I’m trying to make right now impact the entire story and it takes time. I know, oh how I know!

It’s my Almost Giving Up Era. Because I won’t give up.

Research Update: this week was my second (and last!) appearance on the hospital morning show…different format and host than my prior visit, and this time the topic was my very favorite thing to talk about—hot tubs and brain health! They shot some video of our Heat Therapy Suite (aren’t we official?) and interviewed one of our lovely participants from the pilot study we completed last year. If you missed it, click the link below to watch. If you have questions, I’m happy to expand on any of these ideas here or via email.

Heading to a research conference this weekend where we will report our findings from the AD heat therapy pilot study. I’m looking forward to seeing old friends and distant colleagues. This conference never fails to remind me that I am incredibly fortunate to do this work and to know such brilliant scientists.

Am Reading: Expiration Dates, Rebecca Serle’s latest novel (I loved In Five Years and One Italian Summer). The novel is set in LA, a city I barely know. Perfect for my conference, also in La La land.

Have a great weekend and thanks for reading Work in Progress!